I resonated with this article. I was raised in a home that was TV free until I was 13. Interestingly my then 3 year old sister who was raised with TV had difficulty in school because of her short attention span. Now that I am retired and spending more time on social media I am noticing my attention span and short term memory greatly reduced. You have given me hope Meg. Perhaps this is the result of too much online stimulation rather than the onset of dementia!
I also resonate with feeling like others around me often don't have good problem solving skills, life skills, work ethic or even basic common sense. I wonder if these qualities develop in childhood when in solitude, in nature and when spending quality time with adults.
I suspect that you're right, Sharon. It's why Jonathan Haidt's new book The Anxious Generation apparently recommends an end to social media and mobile phones for children up to age 16. But we all know it doesn't just affect children. When I left that job that had the social media role, my memory and focus returned to normal. If I spend too much time on social media—even just in one day—I feel the negative effects. It's encouraging to see that this is finally starting to be taken seriously as a real problem. So important to have people talking about this and, hopefully, collectively returning to saner ways.
Both myself (a Millennial) and my husband (Gen X) were raised without a TV. And yes, we were very out-of-touch with everything our peers were talking about. But it was everything you described here. We now have been married nearly two decades and have never had a TV (still!). It still makes us weird, but we’re okay with it.
This is gratifying that this article has located three others raised this way already. It’s quite validating to hear from others with similar experiences, I think. Amazing that you and your husband found each other with this similar background and have continued without TV. Wonderful. Here’s hoping it will be a more common experience for the generations below us to talk about their phone-free or internet-free childhoods. Thanks for your story, Shannon!
Yes! Perhaps the book that will be written about the next generation will be called "The Peaceful Generation," or something like that. We can hope, right?
I’m GenX and my mother got rid of the TV when I was 5. We had only watched Sesame St and Mr Rogers prior. We didn’t fit in at school but I never felt my mom was wrong in that decision. All my siblings got TVs as adults but I never did. I was raised in Montana and Idaho. My mom sounds a bit similar to yours, definitely not a hippy but really into gardening, canning, picking wild foods etc. My dad went along with it although it wasn’t his idea. He was an immigrant from Ireland but spent his first 12 yrs in India. I met one other person of my generation who grew up without TV- he was raised as a Mennonite. I relate a lot to your story. It is good to see others beginning to understand that the so-called “progress” is not.
Hey there— I’m here via Paul Kinsgnorth’s recommendation. I’m another tv free kid! I grew up on a small Indiana farm in the 80s and 90s without a tv, homeschooled with my brother, with both sets of grandparents and aunts, uncles, and cousins within a 1-15 minute drive from our home. I can relate to many activities you’ve shared here.
My brother was my best friend and we are still close. We played outside all day every day in the summer, accompanied our dad and grandpa as they worked on the farm, I read a lot (or our mom read aloud to us), and we also spent plenty of time in our other grandparents' woods. (Incidentally, as adults we have both chosen to build homes in those woods, and our families each live a one-minute walk from our 88 year-old granny’s front door.)
At some point in my childhood, we did acquire a tv and VCR, but it was kept on a cumbersome old cart in the hall closet, which we had to pull out and navigate through the house if we wanted to watch a movie— the inconvenience was a built-in deterrent.
My husband (raised with tv) and I have chosen to remain tv free for the most part. I say for the most part because we began using our laptops to watch DVDs many years ago, and just in the last year have gained access to fast enough internet to begin streaming shows and movies. Our 17 year-old son recently acquired a tv that is the focal point of our living room, but when he moves on, my husband and I have agreed to just keep using a laptop if we want to watch something. It’s a little small, and a little inconvenient to set on the ottoman in front of the couch or plug in mid-show if the battery is low— but I like that about it.
Thanks for sharing your story, Rachel, and thanks for making the journey over from the Abbey! ;) I'm very thankful for Pauls' recommendation, as it's brought a flood of subscribers. I no longer feel like I'm over here wondering if I'm mostly talking to myself!
I guess I can now say this post has located five others raised without TV. I'm thinking of writing something about this topic, actually. I'll be in touch via private message to chat about it more.
I love that you in some way attribute your closeness to your brother to the lack of TV. I'd agree—you rely more on relationships and imagination for fun. And it's super significant to me that you have chosen to stay close to extended family. That's also connected, I believe. It's a richer life with the relationships, community and imagination a life without TV affords.
Given what we know about how our tech restricts and reduces our lives even more than the invasiveness of TV, it makes it quite clear why the younger generations are anxious and depressed. I'm telling you! The time for change is long past due.
Thank you for this reflection. I'm grew up in the late 80s and 90s with a TV, but without cable - a small check, at least, on how alluring the TV was to me as a child. My children (all 5 and under) and I spend most of our days outside, but I'm trying to commit to leaving my phone indoors, and to taking a notebook and "old" digital camera with me outside. It's hard, and feels like such a small act. But you encourage me to keep trying.
So glad you shared this, Bethany. Knowing my story encourages you to keep trying makes my day! It goes to show that small acts matter in the long run, like your family choosing not to have cable. Every single thing we can do to encourage the "actual" over virtual will have a lasting impact.
I will go back and read this in detail, I promise, but I'm in a rush and I am so excited to say - I grew up in rural western Washington in the same time period and my parents lived on five productive acres; my dad was a prison guard and my mom a homemaker and occasional part time hairdresser. They raised chickens, pigs, rabbits and Christmas trees and my mother had an enormous garden. Nearly everything we ate we grew. We had a cider press in our kitchen and my preschool class all came over one day to run the thing. It was not to last - divorce, move into town, single working mom until a dopey stepdad arrived, etc - but my first five years of life were glorious. I so wish I could give that to my kids now.
A beautiful story, Airily. It's significant to me that our favourite memories are usually tied with some story of self-sufficiency. We don't necessarily reminisce with the same fondness on the stories of that tropical vacation at the all-inclusive. No, it's the things we did in community, the things that had some element of challenge and agency in them, the moments we were closest to the land and to each other. Thank you for the reminder.
Very thoughtful essay. Although I am older than you and of the generation that first had TV in their home's I now live a life often never watching TV. I live in and around land and water and I thank God for that because all that hustle and bustle of city life drains me to the core. Wish I had known Oregon like you did - sounds wonderful.
My parents raised my two brothers and I in a tv free home. I’m now 34 years old and quite proud of having never owned a tv in my life and never intend to. When I was four, my parents bought 37 acres of forest in Western Kentucky, built a log cabin with old timber we scavenged from old abandoned cabins and over the course of the years built up a (almost) self sufficient farm. My brothers and I grew up in the woods, with our animals, reading books about Indigenous peoples and reading, reading, reading tons of old books. We kept just about every little animal we possibly could as a pet at one time or another. The respect my parents had for the land was instilled in me and to this day, I remember the rage i felt when someone cut down trees on our property. I helped my mom bake, make soap and cheese from our milk goats and grow our own garden. Similar to your experience, we went to a normal church, while there were other home-schoolers, we were the only non-tech family. My parents were the homesteaders before that became a trendy thing. As a child it was isolating at times, and I didn’t always understand their choices. Now, I am beyond grateful for the precious gift of growing up free and able to see. Oh my goodness, yes. Life is so much better this way. I didn’t get my first cell phone until i went to college at 25, and to this day I despise it. I cut out all social media (except whatsapp which unfortunately i need for work). I live in an unstable and unsafe part of the world, which ‘requires’ (although i often question why its 'necessary' for me when it wasn’t for centuries?) me to use apps like maps. I enjoy missing out on a great many things. So many more things I could say about how those years of simple, hard working life shaped me!
Like you, I’ve felt my brain be stretched, fragmented and my attention span suffer with the presence of tech. I am constantly trying to find new ways to live without it and limit its effects on my life.
Thank you for your writings. I’m so encouraged to know that I’m not alone in my determination to “Stand in the ways and see, and ask for the old paths, where the good way is, and walk in it; where we will find rest for our souls”.
I resonated with this article. I was raised in a home that was TV free until I was 13. Interestingly my then 3 year old sister who was raised with TV had difficulty in school because of her short attention span. Now that I am retired and spending more time on social media I am noticing my attention span and short term memory greatly reduced. You have given me hope Meg. Perhaps this is the result of too much online stimulation rather than the onset of dementia!
I also resonate with feeling like others around me often don't have good problem solving skills, life skills, work ethic or even basic common sense. I wonder if these qualities develop in childhood when in solitude, in nature and when spending quality time with adults.
I suspect that you're right, Sharon. It's why Jonathan Haidt's new book The Anxious Generation apparently recommends an end to social media and mobile phones for children up to age 16. But we all know it doesn't just affect children. When I left that job that had the social media role, my memory and focus returned to normal. If I spend too much time on social media—even just in one day—I feel the negative effects. It's encouraging to see that this is finally starting to be taken seriously as a real problem. So important to have people talking about this and, hopefully, collectively returning to saner ways.
Has succotash appeared on your menu again in past years? Thx again for letting us into your brain, heart and formation of stake-pulling Meg M.
Yes, I made some last fall, in fact! :) Thanks for reading!
Both myself (a Millennial) and my husband (Gen X) were raised without a TV. And yes, we were very out-of-touch with everything our peers were talking about. But it was everything you described here. We now have been married nearly two decades and have never had a TV (still!). It still makes us weird, but we’re okay with it.
This is gratifying that this article has located three others raised this way already. It’s quite validating to hear from others with similar experiences, I think. Amazing that you and your husband found each other with this similar background and have continued without TV. Wonderful. Here’s hoping it will be a more common experience for the generations below us to talk about their phone-free or internet-free childhoods. Thanks for your story, Shannon!
Yes! Perhaps the book that will be written about the next generation will be called "The Peaceful Generation," or something like that. We can hope, right?
We can! And must. :)
I’m GenX and my mother got rid of the TV when I was 5. We had only watched Sesame St and Mr Rogers prior. We didn’t fit in at school but I never felt my mom was wrong in that decision. All my siblings got TVs as adults but I never did. I was raised in Montana and Idaho. My mom sounds a bit similar to yours, definitely not a hippy but really into gardening, canning, picking wild foods etc. My dad went along with it although it wasn’t his idea. He was an immigrant from Ireland but spent his first 12 yrs in India. I met one other person of my generation who grew up without TV- he was raised as a Mennonite. I relate a lot to your story. It is good to see others beginning to understand that the so-called “progress” is not.
"It is good to see others beginning to understand that the so-called “progress” is not." Well said.
Hey there— I’m here via Paul Kinsgnorth’s recommendation. I’m another tv free kid! I grew up on a small Indiana farm in the 80s and 90s without a tv, homeschooled with my brother, with both sets of grandparents and aunts, uncles, and cousins within a 1-15 minute drive from our home. I can relate to many activities you’ve shared here.
My brother was my best friend and we are still close. We played outside all day every day in the summer, accompanied our dad and grandpa as they worked on the farm, I read a lot (or our mom read aloud to us), and we also spent plenty of time in our other grandparents' woods. (Incidentally, as adults we have both chosen to build homes in those woods, and our families each live a one-minute walk from our 88 year-old granny’s front door.)
At some point in my childhood, we did acquire a tv and VCR, but it was kept on a cumbersome old cart in the hall closet, which we had to pull out and navigate through the house if we wanted to watch a movie— the inconvenience was a built-in deterrent.
My husband (raised with tv) and I have chosen to remain tv free for the most part. I say for the most part because we began using our laptops to watch DVDs many years ago, and just in the last year have gained access to fast enough internet to begin streaming shows and movies. Our 17 year-old son recently acquired a tv that is the focal point of our living room, but when he moves on, my husband and I have agreed to just keep using a laptop if we want to watch something. It’s a little small, and a little inconvenient to set on the ottoman in front of the couch or plug in mid-show if the battery is low— but I like that about it.
Thanks for sharing your story, Rachel, and thanks for making the journey over from the Abbey! ;) I'm very thankful for Pauls' recommendation, as it's brought a flood of subscribers. I no longer feel like I'm over here wondering if I'm mostly talking to myself!
I guess I can now say this post has located five others raised without TV. I'm thinking of writing something about this topic, actually. I'll be in touch via private message to chat about it more.
I love that you in some way attribute your closeness to your brother to the lack of TV. I'd agree—you rely more on relationships and imagination for fun. And it's super significant to me that you have chosen to stay close to extended family. That's also connected, I believe. It's a richer life with the relationships, community and imagination a life without TV affords.
Given what we know about how our tech restricts and reduces our lives even more than the invasiveness of TV, it makes it quite clear why the younger generations are anxious and depressed. I'm telling you! The time for change is long past due.
We grew up with no TV. Best childhood ever! Thank you for your post. 💖
Thank you for this reflection. I'm grew up in the late 80s and 90s with a TV, but without cable - a small check, at least, on how alluring the TV was to me as a child. My children (all 5 and under) and I spend most of our days outside, but I'm trying to commit to leaving my phone indoors, and to taking a notebook and "old" digital camera with me outside. It's hard, and feels like such a small act. But you encourage me to keep trying.
So glad you shared this, Bethany. Knowing my story encourages you to keep trying makes my day! It goes to show that small acts matter in the long run, like your family choosing not to have cable. Every single thing we can do to encourage the "actual" over virtual will have a lasting impact.
I will go back and read this in detail, I promise, but I'm in a rush and I am so excited to say - I grew up in rural western Washington in the same time period and my parents lived on five productive acres; my dad was a prison guard and my mom a homemaker and occasional part time hairdresser. They raised chickens, pigs, rabbits and Christmas trees and my mother had an enormous garden. Nearly everything we ate we grew. We had a cider press in our kitchen and my preschool class all came over one day to run the thing. It was not to last - divorce, move into town, single working mom until a dopey stepdad arrived, etc - but my first five years of life were glorious. I so wish I could give that to my kids now.
A beautiful story, Airily. It's significant to me that our favourite memories are usually tied with some story of self-sufficiency. We don't necessarily reminisce with the same fondness on the stories of that tropical vacation at the all-inclusive. No, it's the things we did in community, the things that had some element of challenge and agency in them, the moments we were closest to the land and to each other. Thank you for the reminder.
Very thoughtful essay. Although I am older than you and of the generation that first had TV in their home's I now live a life often never watching TV. I live in and around land and water and I thank God for that because all that hustle and bustle of city life drains me to the core. Wish I had known Oregon like you did - sounds wonderful.
Hi Meg,
My parents raised my two brothers and I in a tv free home. I’m now 34 years old and quite proud of having never owned a tv in my life and never intend to. When I was four, my parents bought 37 acres of forest in Western Kentucky, built a log cabin with old timber we scavenged from old abandoned cabins and over the course of the years built up a (almost) self sufficient farm. My brothers and I grew up in the woods, with our animals, reading books about Indigenous peoples and reading, reading, reading tons of old books. We kept just about every little animal we possibly could as a pet at one time or another. The respect my parents had for the land was instilled in me and to this day, I remember the rage i felt when someone cut down trees on our property. I helped my mom bake, make soap and cheese from our milk goats and grow our own garden. Similar to your experience, we went to a normal church, while there were other home-schoolers, we were the only non-tech family. My parents were the homesteaders before that became a trendy thing. As a child it was isolating at times, and I didn’t always understand their choices. Now, I am beyond grateful for the precious gift of growing up free and able to see. Oh my goodness, yes. Life is so much better this way. I didn’t get my first cell phone until i went to college at 25, and to this day I despise it. I cut out all social media (except whatsapp which unfortunately i need for work). I live in an unstable and unsafe part of the world, which ‘requires’ (although i often question why its 'necessary' for me when it wasn’t for centuries?) me to use apps like maps. I enjoy missing out on a great many things. So many more things I could say about how those years of simple, hard working life shaped me!
Like you, I’ve felt my brain be stretched, fragmented and my attention span suffer with the presence of tech. I am constantly trying to find new ways to live without it and limit its effects on my life.
Thank you for your writings. I’m so encouraged to know that I’m not alone in my determination to “Stand in the ways and see, and ask for the old paths, where the good way is, and walk in it; where we will find rest for our souls”.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story! All of us who lived this are a carrying a unique gift for this time. I’d love to chat more about that.